Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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