2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
ok first of all what the fuck
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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