I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
