I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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