This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
