he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
