Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
