____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
These tits shall not be calmed
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize