Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
