How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize