The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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