: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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