Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
