Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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