I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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