What a fucking waste of an outfit
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You've changed since you got that strap on
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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