They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Girls should come with a carfax report
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
