Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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