just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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