Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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