worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Send help, water and tortillas.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
