; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
