One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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