just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Randomize
