when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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