the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
