Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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