Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
