Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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