They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I love you. Go after that dick
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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