Joe is yelling at the trees again.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
