he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
