btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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