Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
