yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
