i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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