I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
birth control should be required to get into college
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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