With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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