how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
