i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
