i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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