Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
