Just fell off a train. Bad.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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