Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize