why im i the only drunk person in the library?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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