Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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