I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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