We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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