"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm always down for nudity.
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