My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
