ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
two words...techno handjob
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
