nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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