jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
