i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize