I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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