i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
