when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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