come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
