I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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