After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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