good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
