i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
