and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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