Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
