Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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